Some Poems, Songs and Calypsos by Bokonon

Bokonon's 14th Calypso

When I was young,
I was so gay and mean, 
And I drank and chased the girls 
Just like St Augustine. 
St Augustine, 
He got to be a saint. 
So if I get to be one also, 
Please, mama, don't you faint.

Bokonon's 53rd Calypso

Oh, a sleeping drunkard
Up in Central Park, 
And a lion-hunter 
In the jungle dark, 
And a chinese dentist, 
And a British queen - 
All fit together 
In the same machine. 
Nice, nice, very nice; 
Nice, nice, very nice; 
Nice, nice, very nice - 
So many different people 
In the same device.

Bokonon's 119th Calypso

"Where's my good old gang done gone?"
I heard a man say. 
I whispered in that sad man's ear, 
"Your gang's done gone away."

On the People of San Lorenzo

Oh, a very sorry people, yes,
Did I find here. 
Oh, they had no music, 
And they had no beer. 
And, oh, everywhere 
Where they tried to perch 
Belonged to Castle Sugar, Incorporated, 
Or the Catholic Church.

On the Roots of Bokononism

I wanted all things
To seem to make sense, 
So we all could be happy, yes, 
Instead of tense. 
And I made up lies 
So that they all fit nice, 
And I made this sad world 
A par-a-dise.

On Contrast

'Papa' Monzano, he's so very bad,
But without bad 'Papa' I would be so sad; 
Because without 'Papa's' badness, 
Tell me, if you would, 
How could wicked old Bokonon 
Ever, ever look good?

On Boko-Maru

We will touch our feet, yes,
Yes, for all we're worth, 
And we will love each other, yes, 
Yes, like we love our Mother Earth.

On God

Someday, someday, this crazy world will have to end,
And our God will take things back that He to us did lend. 
And if, on that sad day, you want to scold our God, 
Why go right ahead and scold Him. He'll just smile and nod.

On Life

We do, doodley do, doodley do, doodley do,
What we must, muddily must, muddily must, muddily must; 
Muddily do, muddily do, muddily do, muddily do, 
Until we bust, bodily bust, bodily bust, bodily bust.

On the Quest for Understanding

Tiger got to hunt,
Bird got to fly; 
Man got to sit and wonder, 'Why, why, why?' 
Tiger got to sleep, 
Bird got to land, 
Man got to tell himself he understand.

On the Outlawing of Bokonon

So I said good-bye to government,
And I gave my reason: 
That a really good religion 
Is a form of treason.

On Love

A lover's a liar,
To himself he lies. 
The truthful are loveless, 
Like oysters their eyes!

On Bokonon's Rebirth

A fish pitched up
By the angry sea, 
I gasped on land, 
and I became me.

On Growth

Be like a baby,
The Bible say, 
So I stay like a baby 
To this very day.

On Torture

In any case, there's bound to be much crying.
But the oubliette alone will let you think while dying.

On Granfalloons

If you wish to study a granfalloon,
Just remove the skin of a toy balloon.

On the Members of a Karass

Around and around and around we spin,
With feet of lead and wings of tin ...

The San Lorenzan National Anthem (1922, Bokonon)

Oh, ours is a land
Where the living is grand, 
And the men are as fearless as sharks; 
The women are pure, 
And we always are sure 
That our children will all toe their marks. 
San, San Lo-ren-zo! 
What a rich, lucky island are we! 
Our enemies quail, 
For they know they will fail 
Against people so reverent and free.

The Last Rites of the Bokononist Faith

Performed in the Boko-Maru posture, both parties repeat one after the other: 
God made mud, 
God got lonesome, 
So God said to some of the mud, "Sit up!", 
"See all I've made," said God, "the hills, the sea, the sky, the stars." 
And I was some of the mud that got to sit up and look around. 
Lucky me, lucky mud. 
I, mud, sat up and saw what a nice job God had done. 
Nice going, God! 
Nobody but You could have done it, God! I certainly couldn't have. 
I feel very unimportant compared to You. 
The only way that I can feel the least bit important is to think 
of all the mud that didn't even get to sit up and look around. 
I got so much, and most mud got so little. 
Thank you for the honour! 
Now mud lies down again and goes to sleep. 
What memories for mud to have! 
What interesting other kinds of sitting-up mud I met! 
I loved everything I saw! 
Good night. 
I will go to heaven now. 
I can hardly wait ... 
To find out for certain what my wampeter was ... 
And who was in my karass ... 
And all the good things our karass did for you.